The Brick House

Hugh came out blackberry picking with me this morning. He was talking about wanting to go fishing again, and also of wanting to go and camp in the woods and practice “primitive skills”, referencing a YouTube channel of the same name. I pointed out that we also have the Bushcraft books which will have a lot of the same techniques and info.

Hugh cooked dinner tonight, with Eric’s assistance – Spinach-Stuffed Chicken Rolls. Using our rosemary and our fresh and dried tomatoes.

Dan has been watching The Civility of Alfred Cashier – a musical based on the true story of a trans man who fought in the Civil War and was later put on trial for impersonating an officer.

[Friday] Hugh and I were talking about the geography of Middle Earth in the context of his Minecraft LotR server, and it reminded me about the article I’d read about the problem with Middle Earth’s mountain ranges. I found it, and read it to Hugh, and we discussed the map and looked for a version which contained Harad. During which time we found the expanded map that was part of the role playing game, on Reddit, and tracked down the source to confirm that it wasn’t from Tolkein himself. Then we read the second of the Middle Earth geography posts, on the problems with the river systems, and discussed that too. I was intrigued by the next article, on Arrakis and Tatooine and desert planets, so we read that. I was sad to find that the author only had four posts tagged SFF geography on their blog, and Hugh didn’t want to read the last one.

[Saturday] Dan has bussed up to town to spend the day with a friend. Hugh has been working on a magnificent castle in Minecraft, inspired by one from Skyrim, which impressed the hell out of Eric who has more idea than me of what it entails. During one break we were discussing the tomatoes I have in the dehydrator (“Why is it called sun-dried if they’re made in a dehydrator? Isn’t that false advertising?”), so I suggested maybe it was more a descriptor of the traditional product rather than an actual description of the manufacturing process, which made him ask if rolled oats were actually rolled, so we investigated (yes). He finally investigated Skillshare for programming lessons/courses, although I think that in order to keep him focused consistently and systematically, it probably needs to involve some supervision and help in working out what to engage with.  Later on he went outside and picked fruit, including going up to our favourite apple tree on top of the bank around the corner to see if it had any fruit (yes, but out of reach).

Dan got back in time for dinner (self-assembled pizza) and at dinner time there was a discussion about the idea of the radio play, and after a great deal of disagreement people narrowed down a subject to John Paul Jones, who was a pirate in the American Revolution and apparently supplied the Americans with a navy by nicking it from the Brits. After dinner Eric and Hugh went back to working on their dice roll generating program.

Hugh asked what Saturn’s rings are made of so we looked at this: https://spaceplace.nasa.gov/saturn-rings/en/

He made himself quesadillas for breakfast and is speculating on what he could make them with now he’s run out of the Mexican beans in a tin.

Dan has lately been ranting about Ariana Grande headlining Manchester Pride. Eric made an attempt to introduce a sense of proportion into their rhetoric. It is tiring but important work.

I talked to Eleanor about changing Dan’s lesson time away from Monday so we don’t have to do the Huonville leg twice in one day. Lessons are now Wednesday 2:45. May involve some changes to my shopping/afternoon off arrangements but still better than having to do the first part of the trip twice on a day I’m also driving to Glenorchy.

Crazy Ice Cream Sundae Night was scheduled for family night – the kids went to the lolly shop with Eric, negotiated for how much money they could spend and then decided what lollies they wanted to buy (they came home with jelly beans, mini M&Ms and honeycomb, which made Dan sad because it wasn’t vegetarian). The jelly beans were declared Not A Success, but the mini M&Ms Would Nom Again. We now have vast amounts of chocolate and caramel flavoured syrups leftover. There was a general agreement not to do this every month, but that every six weeks might be okay.

Nervous afternoon watching the smoke haze grow to the south, and listening to the water-bombers overhead as the temperature soared to 38C. The afternoon/evening was far too hot to do anything – or indeed eat anything (as Dan said) “that isn’t literally ice”, so no one except Eric wanted dinner. Dan and I piked out of board games after the sundaes, but Hugh and Eric played a beginner game of Gin Rummy, and then a round of Stone Soup.

I discussed the current and projected fire situation with Hugh (total fire bans and hot windy weather forecast for later in the week). We looked at resources on TFS website, printed and discussed the Leave Early Checklist, and I helped him pack precious items and clothes in preparation. Dealing with his anxieties about the situation involves giving him plenty of opportunity to articulate his fears, discuss and (if applicable) prepare for various scenarios. Also discussed ways of attempting to avoid dwelling on anxieties in a non-roductive way (visualisation exercise).

It was my birthday and the kids helped Eric prepare my dinner and set the table etc.

Hugh

• showed me some features about his new game Warframe
• didn’t want to go to the Pride Parade. After they left I had a long conversation with him about social anxiety and the need to provide opportunities to challenge himself and push his comfort zone. Also discussed the ways in which I had mishandled organising going to the parade (I hadn’t said anything to him about it until it was almost time to leave), and how he would have been likely to be more enthusiastic about going if we’d talked through what to expect and how to deal with any issues arising beforehand. 
• went for a walk up the hill with me.
• looked through the new recipe folder I organised yesterday (to corral all the loose bits of paper) and decided to make a batch of vegan lemon drops.
• decided that we are going to start working 15 minutes a day on his handwriting during his computer-free time.
• re-reading Stormy Weather, part of the Horrible Geography series.
• read a book on the Shang dynasty in Ancient China.

Dan

• 11am – marshalling for TasPride Parade (with Eli)
• 12pm – march begins
• 2:30-5:30pm – Les Mis
• 6-9pm – Pride Prom (with Eli)

Wednesday

• Dan went into town via bus and spent the afternoon with new friend Pippa. Fell down stairs at Franklin Square (due to adjustment difficulties with new glasses) and hurt their knee, unable to start back at roller derby this week.
• had a discussion in the car about ethics of eating, I suggested remaining open-minded about their potential for change in the future, and not locking themselves into anything based on the choices they are making for themselves right now. Building on previous conversation where I suggested reframing “picky eater” to “someone who is currently dealing with sensory and taste issues which make it hard to eat a lot of things even though they know they would be healthier if they could”. Their job is to think holistically about what health means, balance everything up and make the best choices for themselves in the moment when they can, and if things change in future they can reassess.

Thursday

• Dan sent me short (very short!) story based on a historical vignette they had read about: they refer to it as an AmRev fanfic, which I think is funny.
• looked for audiobooks on John Adams. Found one which Dan could potentially access with my Kobo account if I sign up to a free trial of their audiobook subscription service, need to do more research and see what I’m signing up to and if it’s likely to be worth it.
• had long discussion with Hugh about our family history of gluten/wheat-intolerance, and his potentially elevated predisposition to developing Type-2 diabetes due to me probably having undiagnosed gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with him, etc. Long explanation about Type-2 diabetes, insulin resistance/ metabolic syndrome etc ensued. Discussed strategies for healthy eating, also potential strategies for saving some of his pocket money rather than spending all of it on junkfood.

Friday

• went for a walk up the hill with Hugh. He’s suggesting we walk at 11am every day when his computer break starts.
• showed Hugh the TFS fire alert map and explained the rating system, talked about a couple of fires (continuing discussion over the past few days)
• Hugh and Dan cooked themselves pasta for lunch.
• Hugh downloaded and has been playing a new game.
• Hugh helped make tofu “fish” fingers for dinner.
• we looked up the origin of the song “Do your ears hang low?” and were very amused to read the variants. Then I used the word “niggle” and both kids went “You’re too white to say that!” and I had to look up the etymology before they could be convinced it’s not derived from the n-word slur (apparently it’s from Norwegian).
• Dan and Hugh playing snakes and ladders, and then checkers, together before bed.

We’ve spent a lot of time this week working on the kids’ Halloween costumes – especially Hugh’s. Dan was satisfied by finding a horrific rubber “scary clown” mask and a pair of overalls at the School Road op shop (don’t ask me why the overalls), but Hugh has been working hard assembling and accessorising his vampire hunter one. He’s found a coat, a hat (two hats actually), a pair of leather driving gloves, and a utility belt, and has been busily assembling stakes and bottles for holy water.

Dan had singing on Monday, but we went out earlier and did the rounds of the op shops looking for costume ideas. After singing we went straight up to Kingston where Hugh was booked into a Come and try VR session at the library. Dan wasn’t interested in trying the headsets, but was frustrated at not finding any books on the American Revolution to borrow (we sat down this afternoon and looked on the library catalogue and found three to put on hold).

Come and try VR session

We went to a Come and try VR session at the Kingston Library on Monday.

On Tuesday, Dan went up to Hobart on the bus to go to the Outspace LGBTQI teen youth group for a zine making workshop. They came home with Beth and Micky, who came round for dinner last night along with dylen and Hein.

Dan and Hugh have been playing a lot of Uno recently – even when Hugh has internet.

Wednesday morning was supposed to be Code Club at Huonville Library, but when we got there and asked the volunteer where to go, he said it didn’t start til November 7. Sigh. We went and looked for books on Ancient History instead, since we hadn’t been able to find any at Kingston last week, and Hugh borrowed two books on the ancient world, and another book which was the story of Nancy Wake. He was reading that in the car and telling me sections about how badass she was. We also went to Vinnie’s and the tip shop, and he convinced me to buy him a 3d anatomical model of a crocodile. He then spent most of an hour swearing at it while trying to assemble it, so I think it must be a lot trickier than it looks given that it only has 24 pieces.

We found a 3D model of a crocodile at the op shop. Hugh is finding it very frustrating to assemble.

The kids were just outside tearing the grass short in the courtyard and talking happily (well, sometimes talking happily, and sometimes listening to Dan ranting about the American War of Independence and how much they hate Thomas Jefferson). The two of them have been spending an awful lot of time together lately, it is rather wonderful. When Ben was around last week he asked if they were speaking “twin-speak” (when they were shouting “Yeet!” at each other across the dinner table). They disagreed at the time, but afterwards they were discussing it and concluded that yes, actually, they did think they were close enough to be twins. Considering how distant my own sibling relationships were/are, I find that almost miraculous…

I forgot to mention here that Dan and I have been working on their courtyard, and I’m encouraging them to stop seeing it as an overwhelming job and find a way to break it down into small achievable chunks and just work away at them every day. They decided that their first achievement was going to be “fill a bucket with grass every day” (ostensibly in order to clear the fencelines so we can fix the holes, and work at clearing the worst of the rank grass). Then they decided that “filling the bucket with grass” from *my* little courtyard patch was going to count for their task for the day. I don’t think that’s going to get them any closer to their own vision, lol, but I’m not arguing about the help.

I got distracted and didn’t finish my Thursday entry or write one for Friday. Highlights:

Thursday

• Hugh was a bit uncertain about being a total noob at Chess Club but managed to play one game with Sean (assistant coach) who showed him how all the pieces moved and talked about the basis of strategy as they played. He also got to watch me being an almost total noob and learning next to him with Alex (the coach). We left after an hour or so because his brain was full, and he borrowed some books from the library. He does want to go back but definitely wants to be able to leave early and hang out at the library if he gets overloaded by too much information.
• Dan has no roller derby next week, but Silver Words is still on. I talked to Jo, who said Dan is welcome to stay the night with Eli and go to Woody’s in the morning for a function which is on, then go home on the bus (or something). I’m trying to work out an arrangement for next Thursday with Beth regarding sprog wrangling while I’m at the demo, and Dan is trying to arrange something with friends during the day.
• Oze came round for dinner after we got back from roller derby. Dan and Hugh found our chess set and set it up, and Hugh played a short game with Oze before dinner, who showed him the Queen’s Gambit. For once the kidlets actually stuck around for a sit-down dinner (it was burritos so they had to sit at the table with all the foods to assemble things).

Friday

• Quiet day at home (yay!!! that makes it the only one this week)
• Dan remembered to do the chickens at both ends of the day.
• Dan hung out with me and chatted while I weeded and mulched the courtyard. Both of them took the cat out at various times for supervised outside exploration.
• Daddy got home earlier than expected (also yay!) and played a couple of games of Uno with both kids before his brain was overloaded.
• A Cunning Plan for the weekend was made.

Saturday

• Hugh spent the morning downloading Steam updates and complaining about how long it all took.
• Ye Olde Traditional lolly shop visit was accomplished early.
• Dan made Daddy and Hugh a big(gish) breakfast before they all head out to deliver orange balloons.
• Dan and I discussed the issue of Halloween candy and whether or not they want to stop being vegetarian for the day so they can eat the gummy candy (gelatine). We discussed weighing up emotional/mental health and ethics in making sure restriction doesn’t turn into deprivation with knock-on effects on mental health, how having a forgiving attitude towards oneself potentially choosing to let go of ethics in favour of health can make the difference in being able to stick to them (because if you know you can choose, you’re not depriving yourself) and by extension, how having a back-up plan for handling something like this is a self-care measure and can help avert the actual worst-case scenario (eg. how having a plan for how one will deal with an anxiety attack can help you stave it off). Then we came up with the plan that I will buy some of the vegan gummi bears from Billy Hill, and they can swap out their non-vego candy when they get home.
• Dan and Hugh went off to deliver orange balloons with Daddy. There was a mix-up about who wanted to go – Dan went first, then Hugh discovered they’d gone and was sad, so Eric delivered Dan (who had a tummy ache from too much fudge) home and picked Hugh up and went out again.
• Hugh watched Supergirl with Eric.
• Dan has been reading more on the American Revolution. They have internalised what I was saying to them the other day about not imposing modern understanding of sexual identity on historical figures, and ranting about how you can’t claim Alexander Hamilton was gay based on his letters to his friends. They are apparently reading John Lawrence’s letters at the moment.
• Dan also ranted about the futility of activists telling people not to vote but to revolt instead, and we discussed the stupidity of much “progressive” activism in dismissing systems or candidates because they aren’t perfect and spending more time denouncing allies for being ideologically impure than attempting to change things.
• Hugh played Uno with Daddy.

Today has some tight timing in the afternoon. I drop Dan off at the bus stop at 1:30, then Hugh and I head up to Kingston around 3pm for Chess Club, which runs 4-6. Then we go over to Glenorchy to pick up Dan, then home for dinner with Oze (I offered to feed him in exchange for conversation which isn’t about Minecraft or Hamilton). So I need to be very organised about food today.

It’s 8:30am and both sproggets are sleeping in. It’s nice and quiet!

[2:55] Dan put away the drying up, and let the chickens out this morning. They made themselves lunch, and got me organised to get them to the bus on time (I was in the middle of dinner prep so they were the Time Keeper), and with the correct money. Hugh has not argued about leaving his computer and is still pretty keen on the idea of Chess Club, so we have just finished eating a late lunch and are about to head up. Dinner is in the slow cooker. Gosh, I feel organised!

[12:30] I spent the morning out of the house so am not sure what the offspring got up to. About to have to leave again to take Dan to their Headspace appointment.

[4:30] Dan has asked me to find them assignments or projects to pursue based on their interest in the American Revolution, on the grounds that it might help with their “motivation issue”. So I will have a look around for something, although the most useful approach might be to look at what they are already doing and suggest ways that they could organise and present it. I did suggest that they try to work on establishing a daily altar time as part of their self-care, but they didn’t seem hugely interested.

They were telling me more facts and dates and things that Lin-Manuel Miranda got wrong in Hamilton on the way home. Apparently they are watching a series on the Revolutionary War which they are enjoying a lot.

After going to Huonville and back in the morning, and Hobart and back in the afternoon, I am sick of driving, and just want to flump for a while…

[10:00] Hugh came out and talked to me while I was cooking dinner, and helped with some of the prep and cooking. He also didn’t argue too much about being asked to dry up while I was washing, so long as he could pick what he wanted – he ended up doing all the plates, bowls, glasses etc. He keeps asking me to play a board game etc but he keeps picking the point where I’m cooking followed by the point where I’m ded for the evening to ask. Silly offspring.